Sweet Jesus it's mid December already. How the hell did that happen? It has been cold and blustery here in South Central PA, as it usually is this time of year. Just about every day for the past two weeks we've been having snow showers and flurries. I can't help but get a little giddy thinking about Christmas coming. Of course I can worry myself with how I am going to get my last minute shopping done (shit, I still need to get something for my mom!), or what I'm going to make for my family's gathering Christmas night (wouldn't you know that just about everything on the menu has meat in it!), but then I look at it this way...we worry enough as is. A lot of people get all grumpy and pissy around the holidays, especially in my family. I really don't understand.
After my aunt died in April of 2009, the holidays seemed to become somewhat of a burden for my family. My aunt was always the one to bring everyone together after spending hours upon hours in the kitchen preparing more food than 3 families combined could handle. After her passing we were left feeling a little lost, not knowing who could possible bring us together like that. All of the adults kind of made a deal that we would continue with tradition for the little kids in the family. Last year the holidays were really rough. My aunts absence was nearly unbearable. This Thanksgiving though, it felt somewhat like old times. Though we still grieve my aunt every single day, we know she would be furious with us if we just stopped tradition and stopped our lives.
I bitch and moan about my family a lot, I'll be the first to admit it. My close friends and even some of my cousins have told me that if it wasn't for my resemblance to my parents, they would swear I was adopted. I really am nothing like my family. Take a pretty average disfunctional, at times very narrow minded, conservative family and then throw me in....things can get ugly. But when it comes to the holidays, we all seem so put down our weapons and shields and come together. It makes me think of all of the people who don't have that option. Last night I read an article on homeless gay teens. I realized that I easily could have been kicked out of my house, but I wasn't. I easily could have run away, and at one point I really felt that was only one of two options, but I didn't. Families clash, people clash. That's what makes us who we are, our differences.
So here I sit in my room listening to Annie Lennox's "A Christmas Cornucopia" (seriously go buy this album...now!!!) and I can't help but smile a little at the slightly tacky Christmas "pine" garland draped over my book shelf, lights wrapped throughout. It's the little things that can lift the soul a little. I ask you to do this, for one moment, stop worrying about money and presents and work...look around you and take in the sights, the sounds. Be greatful that you have the opportunity to do that. Now, I'm not a religious person at all...but there really is something about Christmas...
What are your plans for the holidays?
LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS SONG AND VIDEO!
